new post, new day, hot day, waiting for a phone call, waiting for a hundred phone calls, waiting for the mail, getting the mail, not getting the call, not having the gall, not being sure, not being not sure, hoping that you read this, hoping that you'll still love me in a hundred years, even when your dead in a grave next to someone else.

even though we've never been to the grave yard together, even though all i want to do with you is to check up on your uncle, take care of your dogs, be tucked into bed. i want to be married, i want to to be free, i never want to leave.

i would rather spin the bottle, i would rather, sometimes, forget. i would rather not be so hot, it is so hot. i am so tired, i want you to hold me. i want you hold me and tell me that i am not crazy, and that you do not love me. i do not want to think that you love me, i do not want to think that you love me, that i love you. that my shoes are hurting the backs of my feet, that the airconditionar is going to be the straw on the camels back, that while i'm getting cooler the world is getting warmer.

let's drive around. i like to drive in your car with you. i like to be with you. i like to feel alive. i like to feel dead. i like to lay in bed. this is to a hundred yous, to you and you and you. this about nothing. this is about me .