my friends are finally coming home!!!!!!!!

 this weekend it was lily, and i called her, and was like, "oh my god! let's go on a walk in the graveyard." which might seem a little bit weird, but it was actually completely normal. i'd say two fifths of my friendship with lily has been conducted within the graveyard (and then two fifths at church, and one fifth everywhere else). so we went to the graveyard and wandered around for hours. it was amazing. we found parts that we had never found before, and we spend a lot of time in the graveyard. like this weird lawn part with a huge weird sculpture, and a big grave for the goodyear family, and a bench, and some other stuff. i abandoned lily to write a poem. the poem messed with the idea of "blessed be the..." which feels like a fitting way to write a poem in a graveyard. and guess what? we DIDN'T FIGHT AT ALL. which is weird, especially for us.  

and then this morning i got onto facebook and there was kathryn, and she's like, "i'm home! let me call you." so she called me and we talked about which boys i'd seen where and with whom, and then we cried (metaphorically) because all the boys we thought were cute freshman year have gone away to college, and it is tragic. the only saving grace is now boys in our grade are getting cute. we talked about how everyone is getting cute, about how much more attractive we have become. it sounds really stupid now that i am typing it, but at the time, on the phone, it felt profound. because, fuck! we are growing up! we are going to be upper class men! the big kids can't make us do stuff that we don't want to do! yay! and school is about to start! and i have to do my summer reading! and i am half way through highschool! and my life is on the brink of something! only it's not! or, not more then it ever was! or, life is always on the brink! or, i am always somewhere! always trying to make things seem profound when really, they are stupid! 

at cca i got a lecture about how using "!" is not enough alone to make things dramatic. maybe i forgot to learn that well enough! just saying! ha! ha! ha!