this is not the place where i live

to return home each year, to find a place the same, to find things different. everyone getting closer to dying, or watching a flower grow, one picture a day. all in slow motion, all moving too fast. to be in a beautiful house, to be with beautiful friends. to be sleepy. to be done. to be ready. to be tired of talking. to be thrilled with light. to want to go, to want to stay. to return home each year to find that it is less your home. to return home each year to find it the same, to find you're different.